Anyone that loves a golden has likely been on the receiving end of the dog deciding that it knows best. What are these moments about? Is she frozen in fear? Disobedient? Stubborn? Lets analyze it.
First, to make sure we're on the same page. The moments I am talking about look something like you would see in a comic strip. Your best friend is prancing along by your side like all is normal... and then without warning, she freezes. All movement stops. There is no convincing her to continue. Now, she owns the show and that show is going nowhere until she says so.
What is a handler to do... we can't all scoop up the 70 pound dog beside us? Should we just lay down in the road beside her? Lets talk about it.
Stubborn Protest #1: "I have a Better Idea"
I'm starting with the easy one. These are somewhat predictable. They happen when you've got an agenda but it doesn't align with your golden's idea.
When Millie was a very young puppy and we were juggling the house training experience by going outside every thirty minutes. Often, she would decide that she wanted to play rather than go inside. Her way of showing that was to feign helplessness and enlist the puppy eyes. We couldn't possibly expect her to climb that step she climbed ten other times during the day!
On the one hand, it was helpful that she was learning to communicate clearly. On the other hand, I was managing the crazy amount of change that comes to a home house training a new puppy and it was not on the schedule to go play soccer at that moment! I was stretched thin already.
I decided in these instances that consistency was key. We both had to be stubborn because I knew that this little show of independence was cute at 15 pounds but at 70 pounds, I would be in trouble. That said, while I would convince her to come inside in that moment, I always made note that I needed to get her exercise and back outside to play in the near future.
Stubborn Protest #2: "But I Can't!!"
As a neurodivergent family, we've learned a lot about the nervous system over the years. We recognize that anxiety can be displayed in many ways. Sometimes it appears as tears. Other times, large bursts of energy or anger. And, sometimes the exact opposite. Sometimes, anxiety presents as avoidance, stubbornness, or "freeze." This is known as Fight, Flight, or Freeze/Fawn response.
I believe that dogs do it too. Sometimes, when the golden decides to freeze it is not at all about disobedience or independence. It is the opposite. It is a response from a dysregulated nervous system. The dog is completely paralyzed in fear.
In these cases, I believe it is critical to recognize the situation for what it is. Bring out your strength and confidence as the protector of your pup and ensure that your dog knows they can trust you to keep them safe. When they feel safe with you, begin working through with anxiety approaches.
For example, as a young puppy, Millie would freeze walking down the driveway to the street. I couldn't understand why everything was going wonderfully on leash until we got close to the end of the driveway and suddenly she slammed on the brakes, put it in park, and no amount of encouragement would convince her to take one step further.
I took the time to hang out with her right there on the driveway. To analyze what she could see at that point and to ensure she knew I was there to help. Then I saw it, it was the trash bins. She was afraid to get any closer to the trash bins!
We began working on a slow and safe introduction to the trash bins. Working at her pace. Eventually we worked up to "touch." I saw her confidence and pride as she carefully nosed the trash bin! We repeated the activity day after day to provide ample opportunities to feel success.
Eventually, we unlocked the fear and she proceeded down the driveway... and down the road where every other house also had their trash cans out for trash day. Had we let that fear sit, it would have validated the fear and it would have become bigger. I likely would have encountered trouble on every walk without knowing why.
The next week, we sat together and watched the trash trucks pick up the trash bins all the way down the road. Now, she has no fear of trash bins or most other large bright green objects!
Decoding the Protests: How To Help
When your golden takes to freezing, I encourage you to carefully consider the situation. You need to decode the root cause of the protest.
- Is there something overstimulating in the environment?
- Is there a new object, scent, person, or sound that she may be reacting to?
- Does she do this at the same place every time or is it completely random?
If you notice this happens regularly in the same situation, begin to work through the anxiety as intentionally as possible. For a service dog, they must behave predictably across environments.
On the other hand, if your golden has decided that it is time to play by her ideas instead of yours... then its your call. Consider if you can find a way to honor her communication while also meeting your needs. (Be careful not to encourage the dramatics tho!)
Have you seen the freeze recently? Which protest do you think it was? We would love to hear about it.