For some, falling in love with a bundle of golden glitter happens quickly. For others, establishing a bond may take more intentionality. Here are our top tips for bonding between your kid and the new puppy... so they fall deeply in love.

Kids & Puppy Bonding: Have Realistic Expectations

Every new puppy owner feels overwhelmed. It is part of the experience. Not only will your child sense your overwhelm but they will have their own! Suddenly their routines and place in the home have shifted. From their perspective, this dog has changed everything. It may be cute to look at and is sometimes funny, but it is still upending everything they once counted on. If your child has a need for predictability and routine, or even physical space, this can be extra challenging.

Your goal in this relationship is the long-term. You want the dog and your child to bond. This is especially true if the dog will someday be your child's service animal. Though it may be nice to think that the kid will help with the dog tasks, it may not be worth it. When a child has new chores that take them away from their free time, you may see an increase in tension. We absolutely want to avoid resentment. We suggest having realistic expectations on how much the kid will "help" with the dog initially. In our opinion, the focus for the kid and dog should be on joyful connection and the foundation of a relationship of mutual respect.

Think of how your child can speak the dog's language and your child can contribute with minimal effort. Picking up poop is probably asking too much.... but could the child be responsible for feeding? This will most certainly grow interest from the dog's perspective in the child! If that is too much, would your child like to select a toy to give the new puppy?

Tip 1: Limit demands on the child to help with the dog's care, start small.

Kids & Puppy Bonding: Provide Space & Time

Like all changes, sometimes it just takes time.... and space. Puppies are unpredictable. Kids are unpredictable. In a home where everything was once routine to the child, now nothing feels "just right." For a neurodivergent child, they may need to feel safe in their space again before they can bond with the puppy. Give them both space from each other. Even though the puppy takes a lot of your time, make sure to save special one-on-one time for just your child each day too.

Require them both to honor each other's safe zones. If the child hasn't warmed up to the dog yet, don't let the dog pounce on top of him unexpectedly. Similarly, don't let the child pounce on top of the dog... or grab the tail, pull ears, or bop them on the nose! Also require that the child respects the dog's crate as its safe space and never to crawl inside. In time, they will learn about each other and become more comfortable.

Tip 2: Teach both the child and the dog to respect personal space of each other. Maintain special time with your child by letting the puppy self-entertain for 30 minutes (treat toys help!).

Kids & Puppy Bonding: Decode The Nonverbal Language Together

As kids are warming up to the puppy, it is helpful to draw attention to the way it communicates. For neurodivergent children, learning to interpret an unspoken language can be fascinating.

Think about how you could turn understanding canine communication into a game in the area of interest of your child. For example, if they love solving mysteries, have your child gather clues and evidence to create a puppy language rosetta stone. Or, if your child is into active play have them mimic the dog's body language and see what sensations they recognize. The goal in this task is simply to turn your child's attention to the dog in a positive manner and to help him become more comfortable with sharing the home together. Predictability creates comfort.

Tip 3: Make it a game to observe and interpret canine communication with your child.

Kids & Puppy Bonding: Share Activities Together

Once the child shows a sense of comfort with the dogs presence, it is time to begin including the new family member in shared activities. Think about how your child likes to play. For many neurodivergent children, starting with parallel play activities may be best. For example, how about a race between the dog and child... they each stay in their lanes but are pushing towards a common goal. For now, rather than make it about the dog, make it about the child. Begin to include the puppy in the daily life experiences. For example, when you do nature school drop off, let the dog come along. Eventually, introduce joint play activities to see how your child responds. For example, if your child loves to play outside, see how they feel about playing soccer with the puppy. Your goal is simply to begin to include the puppy in the daily joyful activities of the family so that the new normal begins to take shape.

Tip 4: Allow the puppy to become part of some daily activities of the child.

Kids & Puppy Bonding: Begin Positive Reinforcement Training

By this point, you have been spending a lot of time with the puppy and some of the basic commands are probably setting in. Ask your child to begin supporting your training efforts by providing short positive reinforcement sessions. Some commands may be more interesting to your child than others, some of our son's favorites are: Recall, Sit, Shake, Fist Bump.. and he dreams of her being able to Cuddle but that is a long way off with a new puppy!

Always be with your child during training sessions until you know they are safe together. Begin by demonstrating the skill and technique to the child. Allow your child to help in deciding which part of the training they are comfortable doing. For example, some kids may not like giving treats to an excited mouthy puppy. Other kids may not have the dexterity or reaction time necessary to mark the desired behavior. Keep in mind your child's strengths so that you set them up for success with the training. The goal here is to consider your child's unique needs while finding dog commands that your child will be proud of training the dog to do!

Tip 5: Begin to include your child in short dog training sessions as it aligns with their strengths. Set them up for success.